if i can run in heels then i can drive
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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