He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
