the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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