Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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