I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
