what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
