Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
