It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
