so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
