No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
MIDGETS
????
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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