Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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