she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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