Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
