I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
