All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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