4 words: hood of his car
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
