in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
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