i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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