There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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