I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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