We won't sleep together?
Don't make out with my wife yet
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
