Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
