Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
