dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
