I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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