Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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