god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
