Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
why is half of my head shaved?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
