Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
