We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
