Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
