she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
