I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
