He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
