Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
