All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
