Me. At least after what I've been through.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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