Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
