Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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