I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Vodka?
Forever.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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