Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
