Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
