So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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