So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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