who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
