Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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