Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
A+ Viking dick
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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