did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
