And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
