All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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